Show Me Brave

     I have neglected my blog for some time now. However, as I wrote in my personal journal tonight, I chose an interesting topic to ponder that I thought might be worth sharing. Today I chose to write an entry on "A Time When I Was Brave." 
     It struck me how difficult it was to think of a time when I was truly brave. According to the dictionary brave is possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance. After some thought, I wrote about a time when I was about ten or eleven and my little brother sliced his hand open on a piece of glass. We were being watched by a babysitter who freaked out when my tiny brother came in crying with blood gushing from his wounded hand. I stayed calm, grabbed a towel, and applied pressure to the cut as my brother sat in my lap. I then informed the panicked sitter that we needed to take him to the hospital. 
     This example of bravery pales in comparison to other known examples. However, this is all I could seem to muster! How sad that I have no examples of bravery from adolescence or adulthood. Sure, I could mask some of my more stupid adolescent experiences by calling them brave. But that would be a pathetic attempt. True bravery is something very different. 
     It saddens me that the average American has lost the opportunity to exercise bravery. I believe we are so out of touch with what it means to be brave, we often have difficulty valuing this characteristic. For instance, my generation gives little respect to the bravery of soldiers today. Is it because a soldier's job is easy and does not require bravery? No. It is because we do not know what it is to be brave. Thus, how would we learn to value it?
     The comfortable, carefree lifestyle of America definitely has  benefits, though so often we overlook the things that are lost. As I reflect on older generations, I admire the bravery it took to merely survive the disease, discrimination, war, and work of the undeveloped world. No therapists. No modern medicine. No remote controlled weapons. Just the rawest human existence, a lot of grit, and a ton of bravery.

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true."

~Charles Dickens

Wounded Hearts

I'm particularly intrigued by the role of the caregiver, a role often thrust upon those by chance. The job becomes theirs whether the person they are caring for is someone they adore or someone with whom they've had a conflicted relationship. Caregivers are often assuming the role of "the strong one"--creating an illusion of togetherness. The truth is, caregivers need outside support too. 


In the book Learning from The Heart, Daniel Gottlieb talks about his experience of being a caregiver, and being on the receiving end of caregiving. I think his advice on self-help for the caregiver and those being cared for is very useful. Gottlieb says, 


"Organizations like the Well Spouse Foundation do a terrific job. But there is another source of care for caregivers. And it can be life sustaining. If you are taking care of me and you love me, ask me what it's like for me to be ill and to be taken care of. And then just listen. And then--this part is very important--tell me what all of this is like for you. What are your losses and fears? Tell me about all of your mixed feelings and hopefully I'll be able to listen, hold your hand, smile, and feel deeply about your life. That will help you. That will help me. If we wear kid gloves when interacting with one another, we will never get to make genuine contact with the people we love and need the most." 


In her book Wounded Hearts, Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, co-founder and medical director of the Commonweal Cancer Help Program, quotes a woman addressing the mother who has been her caregiver. The poem begins with a quote of her mother's oft-repeated advice. The response is that of her daughter. The poem is titled "Mother Knows Best."


Don't talk
about your troubles
No one loves a sad face.


Oh, Mom.


The truth is
cheer isolates,
humor defends, 
competence intimidates,
control separates, 
and sadness......


sadness opens us to each other. 

Lock O' The Irish

     I have to admit, I'm an ignorant Irish woman. Therefore, I feel the need to share this information with all my ignorant counterparts.


     "Luck O The Irish" is actually an ironic phrase. The Irish have been, and are, a spectacularly unlucky race. The "luck of the Irish" is BAD luck. The original and proper use of this irony goes clear back to the Old Country and migrated to America early on. Nowadays many speakers and writers misuse the phrase to imply GOOD luck.



     Luck of the Irish owes its origin to the U.S.A. When they arrived, the Irish were very disliked, treated badly, despised and hated. When the Irish had any kind of success most Americans at the time didn't think they were capable of such successes, so they called it luck. Hence the term "Luck of the Irish."


     Now go forth my unlucky leprechauns & grab some hooch!!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Bleedin' Green

Some of my favorite Irish Celebs...

The Anatomy of Hope

     I just finished reading The Anatomy of Hope by Jerome Groopman, M.D. This book is absolutely wonderful, and I highly recommend it, especially to all those working in health professions. Through Groopman's encounters with many extraordinary people, several of them patients, he seeks to answer why some people find and sustain hope during difficult circumstances, while others do not. Spanning thirty years of experience, starting from the time he was a medical student, Groopman's critical observations, deep compassion, and appreciation for the human condition are touching and astounding. 

About the author: 
Jerome Groopman has been a staff writer in medicine and biology for The New Yorker since 1998. He is also the Dina and Raphael Recanati Chair of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, Chief of Experimental Medicine at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, and author of four books. He has published approximately 150 scientific articles and has written several Op-Ed pieces on medicine for the New York Times, the Washington Post, and The New Republic. He is a hematology oncologist. 


My favorite excerpt from the book: 
     "True hope, then, is not initiated and sustained by completely erasing the emotions, like fear and anxiety, that are often its greatest obstacles. An equilibrium needs to be established, integrating the genuine threats and dangers that exist into the proposed strategies to subsume them. So when a person tells me that he doesn't want to know about the problems and risks, that he believes ignorance is necessary for bliss, I acknowledge that yes, unbridled fear can shatter a fragile sense of hope. But I assert that he still needs to know a minimum amount of information about his diagnosis and the course of his problem; otherwise, his hope is false, and false hope is an insubstantial foundation upon which to stand and weather the vicissitudes of difficult circumstances. It is only true hope that carries its companions, courage and resilience, through. False hope causes them to ultimately fall by the wayside as reality intervenes and overpowers illusion. 
     Each disease is uncertain in its outcome, and within that uncertainty, we find real hope, because a tumor has not always read the textbook, and a treatment can have an unexpectedly dramatic impact. This is the great paradox of true hope: Because nothing is absolutely determined, there is not only reason to fear but also reason to hope."
     -Jerome Groopman, M.D.

And The Nominees Are...

I always enjoy watching the Oscars. Quickly before they begin, I thought I would give my picks (maybe not predictions, tho)...

Best Picture: "The Social Network"
Actor in leading role: Colin Firth "The King's Speech"
Actor in supporting role: Christian Bale "The Fighter"
Actress in leading role: Natalie Portman "Black Swan"
Actress in supporting role: Melissa Leo "The Fighter"
Animated Feature Film: Toy Story 3
Directing: The Cohen Brothers "True Grit"
Cinematography: "The Social Network"
Documentary: "Exit through the Gift Shop"
Foreign Language Film: "Biutiful"
Music: "The Social Network"
Visual Effects: "Inception"
Adapted Screenplay: "True Grit"
Original Screenplay: "The Kids Are All Right"


Let the fun begin!!

Antihero: Banksy

     Street art is one of my new favorite things. I've always had a rebel spirit, so I'm naturally drawn to the unlawful, revolutionary nature of street art. Secondly, I'm a fan of art in general, and I find the concepts presented by many street artists to be downright delightful. 
     For those who are unfamiliar with "street art" versus "graffiti," here's the scoop...
     Street art can include all of the following: traditional graffiti artwork, stencil graffiti, sticker art, wheatpasting and street poster art, video projection, art intervention, guerrilla art, flash mobbing and street installations. Street art is also commonly called "post-graffiti," as it is contemporary public space artwork as opposed to territorial graffiti, also known as vandalism. 
     The freewheeling nature of street art is another aspect I adore. Street artists are talented individuals challenging art by situating it in non-art contexts. They attempt to have their work communicate with everyday people about socially relevant themes in ways that are informed by aesthetic values without being imprisoned by them. Many street artists are passionate activists using their medium to speak to the masses. Others, in my opinion, are just putting the fun back into art observation. 
     Here are a few examples from my favorite street artist, Banksy:

"Interview" with the elusive Banksy...

     I truly believe that art cannot (and should not) be contained. Street artists are heroic as they risk their own freedom to keep art free and meaningful. 
     There is even a documentary about Banksy! It has the usual Banksy twist. Check it out...

     

Art is everywhere. Look for it.